


Overthink, Cannot Sleep

by squiccoon



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hearing Voices, Insomnia, Short One Shot, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:46:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29697312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiccoon/pseuds/squiccoon
Summary: Technoblade suffers a sleepless night alone with his thoughts.Please read tags before reading! If you think a tag is missing/incorrect, please tell me and I'll make adjustments!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Overthink, Cannot Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have depression nor have much experience with it. If anything I've written is wrong or a misconception on what depression is, please tell me and I'll amend my mistakes/take the story down. Additionally, I am not imposing the idea that Technoblade has depression or insomnia. This is merely a fic based on the concept of if he did have depression/insomnia. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and have a nice day ^-^

The world ticked by slowly. Too slowly for Techno’s liking. His finger tapped mindlessly away on his sheets as he stared up at the ceiling, knowing that if he thought about it hard enough it would become too much effort to continue the monotonous act. So he brought himself to pay attention to something else that may help pass the time.

***Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick!***

....Perhaps the clock wasn’t the best decision but it occupied his mind for a minute or two. All too soon it became mind-wrenchingly irritable, hiding his head under the cover of his pillow before settling for his blankets which were much more manageable to adjust and hold. Hands over ears, he muttered to himself in a silent mantra, “Just go to sleep, just go to sleep, just go to sleep...”

It didn’t work as he felt himself lose a part of his sanity to the ticking clock. Standing up from his bed, Techno stalked over to the hanging wall-clock and roughly took it down from its high hook. Up close and staring into its face the hands read 4 on the dot, sending the man into despair.

_How is it only 4 right now?! I swear it’s been...more than that!!_

With an agitated sigh, Techno hung the clock back up (not before removing its batteries) and went back to bed. A terrible choice, really, since now that the clock was silent, the room was silent, everything was silent, he was left alone with his thoughts. Nothing but his thoughts and his breathing to listen to as the night crept by slowly.

 _Begrudgingly_ , Techno would view in his head, _as if the night didn’t want to pass into morning and instead keep me in a constant state of tire and agony._

Was he being dramatic? Maybe. He certainly didn’t feel tired but the occasional yawn and heavy sighs he’d let escape his mouth insinuated that he was, however, his mind was abuzz with its own noise that he couldn’t sleep. The noise he’d hear too didn’t help much to ease the ever-growing emptiness he felt.

**_What is the point, Techno? Why bother trying to sleep when you know you can’t? Why bother with anything? You’re just wasting time and other people’s time with your presence._ **

_Isn’t it enough that I live alone?_ He asked himself back. _I don’t talk to them unless I have to. Unless they ask me to..._

**_Why would they want to talk to you? You don’t even have to be there to be a nuisance to them, a hindrance in their life! They’re better off without you and your BORING self._ **

_Funny that. My whole thing is being a pig so yeah, I am BOAR-ing._

The voices stopped temporarily as he dryly laughed at his own, pitiful joke. Yes, even he admitted it was terrible. Much like him except not as bad. Another small chuckle left him as he shut his eyes, wondering how much longer he’d have to go before his mind succumbed to sleep. His body was already there, the comfort of the mattress relaxing his entire being except for his brain, and he had already grown numb to the chronic pain in his stomach. Before, the pain would remind him of how scarily thin he was and how loose his clothing was even though they were his regular size. Now, he didn’t care as much. Now, he doesn’t bother looking in the mirror.

**_You’re getting awfully thin, Techno. Think of how Phil would feel if he saw you like this. Imagine Wilbur walking in to see you wasting away on your bed until you become nothing more than a husk. Don’t you think that’s pathetic?_ **

_They don’t care anyway, do they?_

**_They don’t._ **

Techno gave a low hum as he thought about his friends and them finding his dead body lying on the bed in sheets—and clothes—that haven’t been changed in months. He might as well say his dead body with the way he’s been starving himself, eating only the smallest morsel of food he could before that sickly state of wanting to throw up overcame him. Some days he could manage eating less than half a sandwich. Other days he couldn’t stand drinking even a sip of water. How he was still alive was a mystery to Techno but he didn’t complain. He didn’t have the energy to do so.

“Why can’t I just **sleep**?!?!”

His aggravated groans were fruitless as he tossed and turned in bed, eventually ceasing his movement and choosing to stare at the blank wall in front of him. All he could do now was wish and wait for either sleep to come or for the new day to rise when the sun would shine through his windows and light up what visible darkness overshadowed him. Once morning came, he would no longer be left in darkness nor in the company of his own thoughts. No, he’d be awake and happy and busy and just in general, content with living his life.

What a farfetched thought that was.


End file.
